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not + a + N

No,

I don't want a bloody pizza

Must we suffer these footballer-loaded

World Cup-themed advertisements

for products that have nothing to do

with football?

June 8, 2006
01:57 PM
Guardian
WorldCup blog
Gemma Clarke

Note to advertisers: liking football does not a gullible idiot make. By far and away the worst part about watching the World Cup from the sanctity of the front room is the relentless assault from advertisers with crass attempts to pimp worthless tat using Germany 2006 as a vehicle.

The thud of boot on ball, the sound of a cheering crowd, a slow-mo shot of a diving keeper, it can only be ... drum-roll ... a three-seater manual double-reclining sofa from DFS. Or Land of Leather. The voiceover: "Buy now and you can have your sofa delivered before the World Cup!"

Eh? Has everyone been sitting on the floor until now? Are people around the country standing in empty rooms, leaning on walls and thinking: "Hey - the World Cup's about to start, it's about time I bought some furniture!"

Then there's Mars. Or "Believe" as it's been rebranded for the duration. Unbelievable bollocks, more like.

And if the sincere, "we can win it" tack doesn't work, there's always the smug, conspiratorial "come on fellas, we all love football, now let's all have a laugh" tone.

Ho, ho ... Michael Owen locked in a cupboard! It's so funny, it makes me want to order a big, fat disk of lardy melted cheese covered in meaty footballs! Which are actually just meatballs, but the crucial inclusion of that word 'foot' really helps sell a pizza at World Cup time. God be with the days when England footballers waited until after their ignominious tournament exit to hawk pizzas.

No, I don't want a bloody pizza,
G,
http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/worldcup06/2006/06/08/
no_i_dont_want_a_bloody_pizza.html

Thanks Hewson.

It's because of people like that

I had to sit through utterly pointless cutscnenes

in Super Monkey Ball 2.

I don't want a story, I want a game.

Posted by Iain on September 23, 2005 05:10 PM.

Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.

Don't believe the hype, G, 23.9.2005,
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2005/may/06/
politics.firefighters

Bob Crow, general secretary of the Rail,

Maritime and Transport union,

said the election result should give

a "sharp warning" to the government

that it was time to listen to the concerns of working people.

"Britain has clearly shown

that it doesn't want a Tory government,

but the huge dent in Labour's majority,

and the huge number of voters staying at home,

show that Britain doesn't want

a Labour government pursuing Tory policies either."

    Firefighters' leader loses job to deputy, G, 6.5.2005,
    https://www.theguardian.com/society/2005/may/06/politics.firefighters

Comment

Did he write it?

You haven't

a ghost of a chance of knowing

Sunday June 25, 2006
The Observer
Peter Preston


It's another Times exclusive.

'All those dreams were shattered within a minute -

but I know that worse things happen to people every day:

when I told my little girl that daddy had hurt his knee,

she just asked me to put on Postman Pat.'

Yes, Michael Owen is telling us all about the 'crunch',

sending his 'best wishes to the rest of the lads'

and dreaming of more big tournaments to come.

Did he write it? You haven't a ghost of a chance of knowing,
O, 25.6.2006,
https://www.theguardian.com/media/2006/jun/25/
pressandpublishing.business 

Comment

I'm sorry, I haven't a clue

However cracked they may be,
our fascination for codes remains

Saturday November 27, 2004
The Guardian
Mark Lawson


The discovery of a code at Shugborough Hall,

in Staffordshire - "O.U.O.S.V.A.V.V" -

that may disclose the location of the holy grail

has been widely compared to

Dan Brown's super-selling novel The Da Vinci Code.

I'm sorry, I haven't a clue, G, 27.11.2004,
https://www.theguardian.com/education/2004/nov/27/
artsandhumanities.highereducation

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